A Scovi sauce. Version one:

Hello Everyone!

As a follow up to yesterday’s modifying your own dishies post, I decided to make and post a modification I’ve just done. For those that had seen the picture, I’ve bought and have been using Pappy’s Hottest Ride.  It’s pretty good, but for a while I’ve been debating on making a sauce with Trinidad Scorpion Peppers. Sadly, they are usually out and I’ve been left with only being able to find Ghost Peppers. Oh! Look! I have some volunteers!

Don’t these eleven guys look happy to see you? They looked happy to see me when I grabbed their package tonight! I also thought this would be an excellent time to test something. See, I’m getting rather annoyed at not finding the peppers I really want to enjoy. I mean when you yell at a guy “Shut up and take my money already!” and you still can’t get what you want, it’s borderline depressing. So, I’ve decided to try and collect my own seeds, and grow them myself for the next year. I found a pretty good video on the topic on youtube, and decided to give it a try.(If you’d like to see the video I’m referring to, or have any tips on gathering seeds and growing pepper plants, comment and I’ll post it.

So here’s the Peppers Sans-Seeds:

Here’s the peppers with their final destination. Only ten as one of the brown ones didn't meet to my standards when I cut it open. It happens.

Here is a pepper for size comparison to show how small im cutting up the pieces. 

Also, during this time I was doing something which none of your should be doing: cutting the peppers barehanded. Now my skin is just fine. I’ve developed a rather ridiculous tolerance for it. However, the oil has a tendancy to work its way under finger nails and into small cuts, hang nails anyone?, and that can cause some serious ouch time. On the plus side, after I was finished my fingers tasted delicious >.>

Here's the pepper pile next to the bottle, so you can see the comparison... there's about a 3:1 ratio of sauce to Ghost peppers here. Volume wise I mean

Here is the peppers added to the sauce:

And here is the final delicious product. Nicely mixed together. It’s obviously rather chunky. 

The rating on this is... god only knows... but H O T! It’s gotta be 1,000,000 if not higher on the scale. I added the label so it won’t be confused with the other bottle I have.  After all, this is literally 10x the heat as the advertised label, and I don’t want to get in trouble by those people.  It tastes amazing though and now I just need to find something to use it on / make with it. Such possibilities!

I think for the next version I'm going to try and cook it a bit and try and bring out the heat and flavor more with an active method. The heat will obviously leech into the rest of the sauce as it is, but I'm still curious how a heated version might taste.

-Kirk

A Scovi’s Gotta Do What a Scovi’s Gotta Do...

As has been explained before, finding food hot enough is a real challenge. While constantly looking for the next “best place” to go for a fix of the Scovi good stuff is highly recommended, having to settle is, sadly, the norm. There are simply places that will NEVER offer tongue burning satisfaction. However! Just because you are settling for something less than stellar doesn’t mean you’re doomed to bland mediocrity. You HAVE options. Although they may not seem very mainstream or “normal,” they are very possible solutions.

The first option is rather straight forward. Cook at home. I know this isn’t always possible. Sometimes the act of cooking produces fumes that the other residence of the house can’t handle. Sometimes cross contamination can earn the ire of... well... EVERY non-Scovi that had the misfortune of tasting a small sample of your nirvana. There’s also the possibility that your cooking skill in life is permanatly bugged at 0xp and you even burn water. It can happen. I know people, sadly.

Anyway, meeting up with like-minded individuals can help. You can share in the cooking, costs, etc. Cooking at home is, generally speaking, far cheaper than eating out. So that is an added bonus to this option. Also, if you’re in this category, you’ll probably have to make it more of an “event “ type thing. Unless you got a group of friends like the show “Friends” and literally hang out on a daily basis.

My suggestion? Bring your own goodness when you go out to eat. Wither that is a canister of seasoning, bottles of sauces, or even fresh peppers. Yes you may get some stares, but isn’t fine dining worth it? In some cases it can be a conversation starter and you never know when you’ll run into another Scovi.

Allow me to give you an example of something I’ve been doing recently. When I know were going out, and if I can remember it, I grab a bag that has a couple of my choice items. These make even “meh” food soooo much better.

Here is my double burger from Denny’s. For whatever reason, the franchise has apparently decided to do away with pepper jack cheese. Needless to say, that decision has left me rather disgruntled...

So I took this heart clogging goodness and added both Pappy’s Hottest ride and some fresh ghost peppers sliced. Not pictured is a “Zesty Nacho” that I also added some ghost pepper to.  This provided a much needed moral boost to dinner! 

Never be afraid of making your own "special modifications." After all, YOU'RE the one that's going to be eating it anyway, not them.

Until next time!

-Kirk

Just Another Scovi Day

In order to illustrate what I mean by spicy and what it’s like to be a Scovi (for those who aren’t and DON’T know) I’m going to give a breakdown of my Saturday.

I picked up my friend and drove for a day of gaming with a group of mutual friends. Along the way we stopped in at a restaurant called China Bistro. Now, I have had mixed results when ordering spicy food here. Again, I think it comes down to the human element and them believing me about just how much spice I can handle. I’ll do a full review of China Bistro in a later post, but for now I’ll just say the food is pretty good.

Saturday, I luckily had my secret weapon.  For my friend, my ex-roomate, and college buddy... IS ASIAN! Specifically Taiwanese, but that’s a moot point. You can call it racist, rude, non PC, or whatever, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s TRUE: certain places like this, at least until you’re such a regular they know your car, first name, and possibly other personal information, cater to the masses and stereotypes.  Meaning, getting spicy food can be a problem.

Instead of tempting fate by insulting the waitress and hoping for her wrath to come out in an attempted spicy homicide (see my last post) I did what I normally do, and try to explain my situation. I ordered the Pad Thai and asked for it  to be spicy, as spicy as they could possibly make it.

She responded, “Thai hot? Okay.”

I know I gave her a disgruntled look, because I’ve heard this before. There is a difference between “American Thai Hot” and “Traditional,” and unfortunately I get lumped in with the former ALL the time. So, to help point out my case, I said, “Even hotter, if you can. Trust me I can handle it. I have Ghost Peppers out in my truck RIGHT NOW.”

My roommate smirked and added , “He wants you to KILL HIM.”

Of course I was like, “Well no... but please TRY.”

They exchanged some words that I, as usual, were not privy to and she left for a while. When she came back, she brought me a small container of chilies in fire oil and my delicious plate:

As she was leaving she looked over her shoulder and did a perfect Taken impersonation. “Good Luck.” <iframe width="854" height="510" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/1zNdw4DaUM8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

The fore boarding sense of doom in her words sent a chill through my spine that filled me with a sense of childish delight that would confuse and terrify Stephen King. I clapped and hopped around in my seat as I stared at it joyfully and commented “Ohhhh... I like this. It came with a spooky forshadowing.”

I pulled out my chopsticks and took a bite. I immediately dumped the entire container of chilies on it, mixed it in, and began to eat. A couple minutes later she returned and clung onto one of the seats and asked, “Are you okay? Is it spicy enough?”

I shrugged and looked at her in between bites and said casually, “Would like it a bit hotter actually.” For reference: no tears, no runny nose, no flushed face, and no trouble breathing, talking or any other outward sign of affect. The waitress looked like I scared her spirit right out of her. After a moment of just staring at me silently, she ran in the back and came back with another container of the chilies. As she dropped if off, she just half laughed, “You’re crazy.” As a side note, she spent a good portion of the time AWAY from my table for the rest of the experience. Not in a neglectful way, but definitely noticeable considering her previous regular rounds before that point. It was a pleasant memory:

Not such a fan of that oil though.

Later that day my gaming group went to get some food from Ed’s Drive In. This was my first experience there. Oddly enough, they didn’t have chilies cheese fries. I was rather distraught at this. But, after sampling their chili, I can understand why. I ordered a Tenderloin, Chili, and fries (obviously planning on making my own chili fires). The Tenderloin sandwhich was very good by itself, and I made it better with some slices of fresh ghost pepper(the red rings):

The chili was a lost cause to begin with. Way too tomato, not enough spices, and for god sakes why did they add random spaghetti noodles? I didn’t order Chili mac! Don’t even get me started on the greese (and I don’t mean in the god way). Sigh. Peppers can only make good food better, they can‘t make crummy food better. Frankly, using peppers on it would have been a waste of peppers, I’d rather eat them straight to help cover up that taste.

After that someone pulled out a chocolate cake and started cutting it up for dessert. I could tell from my seat it was one of those really “rich” frosting cakes, and, generally speaking, not all to my liking. A solution presented itself when one of my spice loving friends got a ghost pepper off me for their own meal. He cut off the tip, ate that, and added a bit to his meal. He didn’t want the entire thing and, knowing how I am about wasting stuff, he asked if I wanted it back. An Idea is born!

Yes. That is correct. I put a Ghost Chili Pepper, 1,000,000 SHU, on a piece of Chocolate cake. It was delicious... Don’t judge me!

So there you go. Lunch. Dinner. Even Dessert.  Spiciness is ALWAYS relevant for a Scovi.

Happy Caping :-D

-Kirk

The Struggle is Real

Every single Scovi has had this problem at one point or another. For those of us of higher rank, it's practically a daily occurrence. What is this horrible annoyance? Simply: Waitresses and restaurants NOT listening when asking for an acceptable level of spice.

For a perfect example of what I’m talking about, I refer to The GrrlPower Comic page 117:

http://grrlpowercomic.com/archives/696

Specifically the image of the menu, and the blonde character(Sydney)’s statements.  This is making light of a very serious problem. Personally I’ve never tried to INSULT my servers (one I’m not THAT rude, and two there’s always the possibility of snot in the food), but it seems to have worked. At least in the comic that is.

The following page: http://grrlpowercomic.com/archives/697 shows what we WANT. Indeed Sydney’s even gloating and monologuing like the Emperor, but whatever gets the job done.

As a Scovi it is extremely frustrating to be practically ignored with my food order. Logically, I understand that they may have had issues where someone simply tries to brag, and show off, but then are unable to eat their food and possibly demand a refund / cause a scene. I understand this, but it’s still extremely unfair to those of us who truly appreciate the divine nature of spice. Spending a while trying to explain to the individual how serious I am in my request, and then receiving mediocre food? Disappointing, saddening, and, in most cases, infuriating.

Normally, I would like to give advice, and possible solutions when discussing a problem. Sadly, I am still trying to figure this one out myself. It seems entirely hit and miss. Even the same restaurant can have different results, depending on who the waitress is. My only suggestion is to let them know how disappointed in the food you are when it comes. In the vast majority of cases I have encountered, they will try to make it right and help as much as possible. After they get over their initial shock, that is.

If anyone else has any stories or suggestions to share with the rest, please comment below or drop me a message. Knowledge is power my fellow Scovis!

-Kirk

General Tso's or General's Sadness?

The Americanization of other cultures’ food has been a widely known phenomena. America and sweets and fatness are a running joke around the globe. Do we REALLY need to add to it? I think NOT!

In this segment I will be talking about something very near and dear to my heart: The OVER-Americanization of food. For this purpose I will be targeting one of my pet peeves: General Tso’s Chicken. Now traditionally this dish is supposed to be more of a sweet dish with a kick (Read SPICY). That, unfortunately, is NOT the case in most cases.

It has been a long time since I first savored REAL traditional General Tso’s at an international festival in middle school. Since that time I had always found the other imitations to be lacking at best. Then I found another fountain of joy, in the shape of a small kiosk near my college. These wondrous individuals made the chicken as it was SUPPOSED to be. The sweet base lovingly caressed the chicken, and held a spicy secret you wouldn’t soon forget. Am I saying it was fire breathing hot? No, not in the least. But it DID have a very noticeable kick that would always leave a smile on my face. This is as it SHOULD be, yet, sadly, is the minority in the culinary availability of some stuff labeled “General Tso’s.”

What is generally offered, under the guise of “General Tso’s,” is this sticky, and often sickeningly sweet, syrupy mess. It only vaguely appears to be a sad facsimile of that which true connoisseurs’ desire. Its taste is anything but appetizing in most instances. That is not to say the chicken is overdone, burnt, or even that the cook did a bad job of preparing the meal. They did an excellent job in preparing... whatever the slop is... but they certainly did not make proper General Tso’s.

I believe this stems from the unfortunate stereotype that “Westerners cannot handle spicy food, and all they want is sweet dishes.” While there ARE people like that, there are just as many, if not MORE, that enjoy other types of food. Think of a nice thick steak; how often are they candied beyond belief? Think of Cajun cooking, salty spicy deliciousness that’s usually encompassing seafood dishes. There are many more examples that helps disprove this stereotype, but I’ll leave it at that for now.

It's General Tso's, NOT Sweet and sour. If I wanted to eat syrup covered chicken that's what I'd do!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there is a LARGE market that is going unserved. These shops need to wake up and realize that there is a customer base just waiting to happen. They wouldn’t even have to have it as their primary menu. Have it as an available option. Instead of saying “That’s as hot as it gets,”  say instead “I got just the thing!” In most cases it’s simply a matter of adding extra spices during cooking or at the end. It CAN be done.

If you’re still skeptical at the pervasiveness of the spicy culture, I have a fun fact for you. Somewhat recently a local Mejier (a grocery supermarket with other general goods) started stocking hot peppers. They had FRESH Scorpion Trinidad peppers and Ghost peppers. These are not kiddie peppers. These are the kinds that send the unprepared to the hospital. In a word they’re: Delicious. Why did I say “had” then, if they are so good? Because the store is having a hard time keeping them in stock! People are buying them out as quickly as they get shipped in, and I can tell you it’s not me or anyone I directly know. I’ve only managed to get my hands on three packages. The rest of the times the shelves are empty. They resemble an ammo case at Wal-Mart: Sad and Barren! Now if THAT doesn’t tell you how popular and in DEMAND they are, I don’t know what else to say.

Personally, I’m not a fan of sweets. So the bastardization of General Tso’s is doubly insulting and revolting to me. The paradigm of stores and shops needs to shift to stop thinking in such narrow terms. There is a market for the product. They just need to take advantage of it. So in short... Shut up and take my money!

--Kirk

What is a "Scovi" ?

Hello everyone. Welcome to a "foodie blog" like none other.

My name is Wes, and I'm a Scovi. What exactly is a "Scovi"? I'm glad you asked, truly! Allow me to enlighten you!

In short, a Scovi is someone who REALLY enjoys spicy food. The hotter the better. They don't simply like it, they LOVE it. A Scovi is always trying to push their own limits and achieve a higher level of "Spicy Nirvana." For a Scovi "Hot food" generally is never "Hot enough."

Where some people may complain: "These jalapenos are hot!" A Scovi would try one, frown, and call them a pickle.

Where a store hands out Tabasco(t) sauce when asked for something hot, A Scovi would sigh and say "If I wanted vinegar, I'd have asked for it."

Where Americanized General Taos chicken is served, a Scovi may send it back and quip, "I didn't order sweet and sour!"

Scovis are known for clearing a room with their lunch, as others can't handle the fumes from the plate.

Scovis have been known to sign legal waivers, regularly, in conjunction with their meal.

Scovis have been called "inhuman" for their lunch choices and, a possibly, others stare in disbelieve as they are certain the person is committing suicide right before their eyes.

A true Scovi has learned of the dangers of their dinner. Not to themselves, but to those around them. It is quite possible that their leftovers could be considered "hazardous materials" because of the potential for blistering effects of those ill prepared for such contact. They take precautions to limit the fall out. They also don't do it for the fame, nor the glory, nor the notoriety. A TRUE Scovi, does it simply for the pure joy that comes from consuming said spice.

A Scovi is a scholar of spice. They are like a monk, training constantly, in order to reach that next level.

This blog will be the blog companion to the 50ShadesofCap youtube channel and will focus on the trials and tribulations of Scovis.  Primarily, the lack of sufficiently spicy food and the personal mission of trying to seek out that which eludes us. I will be reviewing and ranking a variety of spicy dishes, sauces, chilies, peppers, and other ingredients. In short, think "A foodie with a spicy death wish."

Until next time!

-Kirk